image courtesy of Killing Cockroaches by Tony Morgan

I have been battling ants in my house lately. It is kind of gross because they are getting into the dishwasher. So I have been getting in the habit of just crushing them whenever I see them. The other day I was outside and saw a spider. My instant thought was to squash it. I stopped and thought there was no need. As I walked on, I felt that I had done a good deed letting that spider live.

That's weird. It's just a spider. Immediately I was reminded of a friend of mine from high school, David. We were talking one day about why we decided to be Christians. He told a story of when he was elementary school age, he was outside and saw an anthill. He went over to it and slaughtered them. Just stomping them all. For those with boys, I'm sure you can see your son doing this. Anyways after the fury died done, David felt guilty that he killed them without reason. He felt so overcome that he confessed his sin and gave his life to Jesus.

I remember thinking as David shared his story that God is so amazing to use anything to bring people to salvation. I also remember thinking that God really did not care about the ants, but He just used it to lead David to Himself.

My incident with the spider has made me question those that last thought. God created these insects. He called them good. As part of His creation they carry with them a part of His good pleasure. Do we think God was in a bad mood when He created cockroaches? Because He created them, there must be something in them that He loves. I'm not saying I now love insects, nor am I saying they need to share my house. But there are things that we may not like that God loves.

My wife saw a woman in the YMCA the other day who was full-out liberal. I mean it was her identity. Anyway, she felt God whisper to her that He loved this aspect of the lady. Sure we believe that God loves her, but does He really love her being so passionate about being liberal? Why not? Can a Christian not be liberal? Are there no aspects of His character in what they are trying to accomplish? She may have been misguided in some ways, but who is perfect. God would rather us be hot or cold. It is the lukewarm He spits from His mouth (Revelation 3:16).

Jesus, help us to love and build bridges instead of killing others because we personally don't like what they do. Help us to prayer according to your desires for people and our world.

image courtesy of Jason Upton's website

I recently heard Jason Upton's adoption story repeated and loved how God strung together different events to show His love. Jason Upton is a worship leader often compared to Keith Green - whose passion for the Lord comes clearly through his music. His story is that he is adopted, and recently as he had gotten older decided the need to pursue finding his birth parents. What he found out was the amazing hand of God fulfilling his destiny.

Jason's mom became a Christian in the late 60's early 70's in the Jesus movement. She loved Jesus then fell for this man who was "not yet" a believer. In Jason's words he was the fruit of evangelism gone bad. A few months into the pregnancy his mom decided she wanted to get an abortion. Jason's dad talked her out of it.

Three months after Jason was born, Jason was placed in the home of his adoptive parents. During this time his mom put together a box of memories for Jason. She included pictures of him, the house, and his parents. She also included his story and a prayer she had written out.

This adoption was considered a closed adoption. This is where the only way for Jason or the parents to find out who the other was is through mutual consent. So some time after Jason contacted the adoption agency with his request, he received this box. He opened the box, looked through the pictures, and read the prayer. His mom had prayed that Jason would one day become a worshipper and lead others into worship. God had answered her prayer without Jason knowing it was prayed for him and without his mom knowing it was fulfilled.

After getting the box, Jason called his mother. All the adoption agency had told her was that her son was looking for her and may call. So when the call came through Jason said, "My name is Jason Upton, and I believe I'm your son." Her husband then came on the line, said she could not talk now, and hung up.

What had happened after putting Jason up for adoption was his mom went through some tough emotional pain during which she abandoned the Lord that took many years to come out from under. When she finally started to come back, she had a lot of unresolved issues for the Lord to heal. She had noticed that there was one musician that her church had played that really spoke the words on her heart. She asked around to find out who it was and bought that CD. She did not know at that time was the music she had bought was from the son she had given to adoption.

I am sure there is more to this story I missed in the retelling. But what I did gain was how the hand of God was at work in a situation that at points had been very traumatic for Jason's mom. God is powerful enough to turn all of our darkest moments into signs of His wonderful goodness. No situation is too bad that can't be redeemed. Jason is who he is because his mom allowed him to be adopted by his parents. It has affected his life and affected his ministry. And through it all, God's hand was at work redeeming and blessing. God works through all things for good.

Additional resource:

• A Treasury of Adoption Miracles by Karen Kingsbury

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Here is another thought sequence from Sunday worship. We were singing Phil Wickham's Always Forever. It was the first I had heard the song but was loving it. I'm not a musician, but it sounds like a waltz. We had a girl up front dancing to the song, and I just imagined Jesus coming and dancing with her. It was sweet and beautiful at the same time. The thing that really got me was the chorus. As I had this mental image of the Jesus and the girl dancing, I thought that as I sung the chorus, Jesus was singing it back to me.

Jesus is so in love with us. We are His bride. We are His helpmate. We are His companion. He loves us.

At the end of the song, the words go into a repetition of hallelujahs. My heart just wanted to sing out, "How He loves us, How He loves us, How He loves us, forever." We don't earn God's love. We receive it.

As we later came back to the hallelujahs, my heart was ready to respond with, "How I love Him, How I love Him, How I love Him, forever." Once we get a hold of how we are loved, then we freely give back to Him. And, once we get a hold of how we are loved, we come before the throne with confidence because we know that as Jesus sees us coming His heart says there's the one I love. Why would we ever hide our desires from the One who loves us so much?

Always Forever
Phil Wickham

You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life

CHORUS:
You are the love I need
You are the air I breathe
You are my love my life always forever
I would lay down my life
Just to be by Your side
You are my love my life always forever

You are the grace that covers my sin
You’re everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, forever

Always Forever video

image courtesy of FamilyLife

In the garden God said it was not good for man to be alone. Man had perfect communion with God, but God said He was alone. Then He creates woman as a help-mate for him. The answer to man’s loneliness was not more of God; it was woman. Isn’t that strange?

Unfortunately, it did not take long for the oneness between man and woman was jeopardized. The forbidden fruit was eaten, and shame and blame enter the garden. Separation occurs between God and man, but it also occurs between man and women. “This woman, she…”

So many of us thought that marriage would be the answer to the pain in our lives. We saw our spouse as the miracle drug to end all of our loneliness. Unfortunately, marriage is often the source of greater loneliness.

The point is God created marriage for oneness, but sin distorts God's plan. Sin and shame keep us from moving out of our shell we have created to protect us of exposure and pain. As we remain isolated from our spouse, additional pain and shame are added to it. Then we pull even more away into our protective shell. We are on a deadly spiral, and we need something or someone to stop the bleeding.

God in His masterful plan usually puts two people together that are perfectly matched to heal all of the pain. The thing is that in order to enter into that healing there needs to be tiny deaths to self along the way. Are you going to choose to deny yourself to allow healing to flow? When your spouse shares their struggles with impure thoughts, are you going to offer grace or shame? When your spouse tells you about their eating disorder, do you offer love or condemnation? When your spouse confides with you their fears, do you offer words of life or dismiss them as unrealistic?

The right choices above are usually not easy because it is those areas of hurt in your spouse that fed the areas of hurt in your life. You have to choose life for your spouse because even though attacking them feels like protecting you, it will hinder any chance of either of you to find freedom. Take your fears to Jesus. Allow Him to protect you. Then offer life to your spouse.

Jesus is better at protecting you than you are anyhow. Therefore you are able to move toward oneness.

• Additional Resource: When Opposites Attract in Marriage (via FamilyLife)

Earlier this week I shared what I learned from saying night-time prayers with my youngest daughter. I thought it was only fair to share something from the oldest. As she has gotten older I have added more things to our routine. Lately I have been praying Paul's prayer for her as found in Ephesians 3:16-19. (If you are interested we did the Lord's Prayer for a year than migrated to this to add variety.)

Here are some things this practice has taught me:

1. I have learned how important it is to pray Scripture over my children. It is broadening out my prayers for the girls more than what I naturally would think on my own.
2. I am reminded how important a routine is for kids. If I feel like it is late and try to skip this part of the prayers, she lets me know.
3. I have also realize how little I valued this as effective prayer by wanting to skip it when I'm in a hurry.
4. I have learned how important this time of night-time prayers and this particular prayer routine is in teaching my children love of the Bible and learning what it says.
5. I like how in this passage we are reminded that my ability to dwell in love is tied to knowing the depth of God's love.
6. I like the reminder that love is tied to faith not knowledge.
7. I like how praying this passage each day has embedded it deeper into my own heart.

What are some ways you pray with your kids?

Sometimes I am struck about how important forgiveness is to Jesus. In some case it seems to predicate our forgiveness (Mark 11:25). And other cases it seems that it protects us from the attacks of Satan (2 Corinthians 2:10-11). I recently came to new understanding on the power of forgiveness from the story of the Joseph.

As the story goes, Joseph quickly goes from living under the favor of his father to being rejected by his brothers and living as a slave. His bad circumstances became worse in Egypt as he goes from slavery to prison. We must realize that just because we read this account in a few minutes of our time, Joseph life played out for many years. He had day after to day to think on his rejection... to think of how life could have been.

So finally at the end of Genesis Joseph is second in command of all Egypt and his brothers come to him begging for forgiveness (Genesis 50:18-20). Does Joseph brothers deserve the forgiveness? Does Joseph have the right and power to execute judgement on them. God had elevated him to this position, could he now take his revenege on them? In the natural, we can answer yes to each of these questions. God could have rightly executed his brothers for their sin.

But, this is the part that strikes me... If Joseph had done this, he would he killed the line that Jesus was going to come from. Jesus does not come from Joseph's lineage. It is Judah. If Joseph had not forgiven Judah, our hope would have ended.

Think of Jesus statement on the cross (Luke 23:34). "Father forgive them..." Jesus, of course, has every right to withhold his forgiveness on the those actively killing him. If he withhold that forgiveness, we will all be left without access to God's forgiveness.

What I get out of all this is if I am withholding forgiveness on anyone for anything, I could very well be hindering God's provision and plan for me and/or for those I care about. The path of life is found through forgiveness. We cannot neglect this. It is too important. If you hold anything against anyone, forgive them now. Forgive your enemies, your teachers, your father, your mother, your sibilings, your spouse, your boss, your children, your ex, yourself, etc. Be thorough. Forgive everyone for everything.

In human reasoning, you may have every right to not to forgive. But in the spiritual nothing will hinder you from experiencing the fullness of God more. If you are having trouble forgiving, ask God for help.

As long as you are withholding forgiveness, you are trusting in yourself for your protection. This is a role only for God. The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe (Proverbs 18:10). Forgiveness does not mean I will let you hurt me again. It means I will not hold myself as a judge over you. Again, this is God's role not ours. And, if God finds it in His heart to forgive...

Shame Off You is written by Alan Wright, the pastor of church I was a member. I also had the priviledge of leading a 4-week follow up class for Pastor Alan after he held a conference at his church, Reynolda. I say this as a disclaimer, but it is a very good book and worthy of your time. Shame is an important topic that often goes ignored and therefore many people are hindered in their walks with God as shame goes unaddressed. Shame will keep you from approaching God with your requests and keep you from living out who God has called you to be. Here are some thoughts from the book that I hope would encourage you to take the time to read it.

1. The world is filled with people under the weight of shame. Knowing you have to measure up in order to feel acceptable while knowing that you can’t quite measure up leaves you with a gnawing anxiety that wreaks havoc in your soul. We might recognize them as lies, but since the shame feels true, we live out of them. Other people also put shame on us. It is a common motivator in today’s world, and while it can get us to try harder, it never sets us free.


2. No matter what degree of shame you have experienced, you have a chance to let go of judgment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Healing comes not just from the acknowledgment of the pain, but the forgiveness you choose to give. Forgiving does not mean denying or excusing the shame you suffered, but rather means letting go of its hold on your heart. The issue is never the capacity to forgive, but whether you desire to forgive.


3. God never uses shame to motivate us toward right living or excellence. He never motivates us by withholding His love from us.


4. One of shame’s greatest goals is to get you hiding from God. Fear of exposure leads us into hiding. In a shame‐free relationship, every ounce of Adam and Eve’s relationship went to exploring their future rather than covering their tracks. The humiliation and guilt of shame erode our self‐esteem and breeds deviousness and manipulation as a means of no letting our self’s to be exposed. Shame can only be healed once it is exposed.
   
   Doesn’t God already know us completely? Why then do we hide? We are afraid that he might expose it and shame us some more. We are afraid He may confirm our fears of rejection and unloveliness. God is not hiding from us; He wants to be known. He wants to heal us so we can experience the abundant life He is offering.


5. God’s answer for our shame is not personal success nor God’s pledge to take away our pain. God’s answer is, and always has been, to be with us in our pain, to bear our shame, and nourish us for the journey ahead. We do not overcome shame by focusing on our success. The effort to hide the truth of our inadequacies through the façade of success builds more walls around our hearts. Shame is overcome by walking with God.


6. Christians don’t substitute idols for God; they add idols in addition to Him. We raise up idols in our lives to salve the wounds of our past. Something happens to us and we make a commitment never to be hurt like that again, so we establish an idol to protect us from that pain. Ultimately the idol doesn’t give you peace, instead it gives you constant pressure to always please it. When we don’t perform well enough for our idols, it mocks us and sends us back to even deeper shame.

If you want to lead a class at your church based on this book, here are my handouts for Shame Off You Follow Up Class (PDF).

I also led a small group through the principles of this book. We were primarily focused on as parents how do we keep shame off our kids, but one major point is shamed people shame... wounded people wound. You are welcome to the Shame Off You Bible Study (PDF), just know that some of it will ask parenting questions. The small group focused on the following concepts.

Chapter 1: The Power of Words
Chapter 2: The Power of Marriage
Chapter 3: The Power of Forgiveness
Chapter 4: The Power of Confession
Chapter 5a: The Power of God’s Voice
Chapter 5b: The Power of Celebration
Chapter 6: The Power of Mom and Dad
Chapter 7: The Power of Boundaries
Chapter 8: The Power of Walking With Jesus
Chapter 9: How to Change Others
Chapter 10: How the Church Tries to Change You
Chapter 11: How the Gospel Tries to Change You
Chapter 12: How Idols Keep You from Real Change

I will strongly encourage you getting this book. It would be a great start experiencing more of the grace of Christ in your life.

image courtesy of saturn ♄

I was going through an old journal yesterday looking back at time where I was confused by the actions of a close friend. It was a very difficult time and was affect my work, my home life, and my hope for the future. The journal entry came at a time I was thinking through Hebrews 6:19 talking about this hope that we have that is an anchor for the soul. I was asking God what did He want me to hope. After immediately realizing that my hope is Him, I asked what it looked like. The following is what I wrote in my journal. I pray that you find it as helpful as I did when I wrote it and as I did yesterday when I read it again.

“Your whole life is defined by Me. Circumstances of life seem random and without knowing why they occur they bring doubt, discouragement, despair – death. Look to Me and have Me define and explain the realities of what is really going on. On earth things appear to be dying. You might go through tough situations and become depressed. Take heart! I am with you. I am taking you through the events of your life to grow you, teach you, bless you, and reward you. The things that seem to be the straw that broke the camel’s back is really the sand that tips the scales in your favor. Your faith is strengthened. Your love is unconditional. And, your ministry is effective. I am your hope. Without Me there is nothing. Heaven is eternity with Me. Eternity with perfect love, understanding, and joy. Now your awareness is dimmed. It will improve. In heaven, it will be perfected. It will be worth it. Devote your life for the things in heaven.”

Truth is whatever God says is true. And, it is true that God is always in control. He is for you. He loves you. And, He can work through every circumstance for the good of those who love Him. He redeems. He restores. He is for you. Take heart. He will never leave you alone. He looks on you with love. Bask in His love for you right now and give Him thanks for His hand on your life.

image source unknown

I have been stuck thinking about the Where's God? theme for the last couple weeks. Lately this has turned to what have we not asked God because we are afraid to get our hopes up? Let me set this line of thinking with a couple examples.

For the first example, there is a leader I know who had trusted God to bring healing for a dying loved one, yet the loved one still died. After which he continued to talk about God's love and desire to act of a Christians' behalf, but he did not seem to want to take people to that point of trusting God to actually come through. Every personal experience of God from that point on he ever mentioned was past tense. I imagine there are also other things going on, but you can see dilemma.

What are afraid to ask God for? What are afraid to place in God's hands for fear that He will not take care of it? What if God really seems to not come through?

The second example comes from the media. At a young age Ted Turner wanted to become a missionary. Then as a teenager his sister became seriously ill. He spent an hour a day praying to God for her to get well. She eventually died a painful death. Turner thought, "how could God let my sister suffer so much?" This experience seems to have been the impetus for his atheism.

What do we do? Sometimes God doesn't heal. People do eventually die. There is evil in this world. How do I pray with faith and hope not knowing if God is going to come through for me?

We need to allow every encounter of life be an opportunity to draw us closer to Jesus and allow Him to interpret the events for us. So often we assume that the thing we are praying for is best. That may or may not be the case. But if we are too upset with God for what happened or if we are too afraid to know God's answer, we will not move towards Him. We will choose to believe that either the Bible is wrong about God, or that He is not trustworthy of things that matter the most to us.

Joseph had every right to think that God was out to get him. He had been separated from his father he loved and who loved him. His brothers turned on him and sold into slavery. When he was starting to make a living for himself, he was unjustly accused and sent to prison. Then you get to the end of Genesis and you see that he knew somehow through it all God had meant if for good.

If we have gone through pain, how do we trust God again? You need to have God interpret what had happened for you. Truth is whatever God says is true, and that truth will set you free. This is not power of positive thinking, because your mind won't buy it. You need Jesus to speak to you about what He was doing during your painful situation. It will be different for each person. Sometimes He is crying with you. Sometimes He shows you He is with you. Sometimes He gives you a word of hope and encouragement. You may not be at a place to hear God for yourself if the situation is too painful. If so, have someone pray with you to support you. Where two or three are gathered He is in your midst. Whatever you do, don't distance yourself from God. He loves you more than you know. Go to Him. These are the touches we need to get us through. These are the touches we need to get us to believe again that He is good.

If you do not see God is good, you will not ask Him for things you care about. If you are afraid He will not come through, you will not persevere in prayer. If you are making excuses for God, you will believe in a God that wants to give you more than you even ask or imagine. Don't let past unanswered prayers linger in your mind. Go to God and allow Him to interpret them for you.